THE MAD MAN

He has a deep need for control, and Anger is his motivator.  It is not as if he would say, “I must control you…You will do as I say."

"There is only one way, and that way is my way.  You are mine now, and I rule…”

No, no…that would get him nowhere, and he knows it.  So, to show you whose boss, he bellows his already naturally strong voice into the air, with commands.  The voice is so angry sounding, and the face is so swollen—with what appears to be hatred— that the woman, child, or smaller figure automatically cowers at the forceful wall of his voice. 

The madman is scary; and it comes natural to him.  It is not an act; it is a necessity born of Fear, his way to release fear.  He is so afraid of being told what to do, of having no will, of having no long-term direction, of being lonely and of having limited organization of his world, that he becomes spiteful—and the spite shows as Anger.  

He is restless and nervous, and the Littlest Incidence sets him into an out-of-control tirade.  The more the stress unnerves him, the louder and angrier he becomes—full of an unconscious hope that his outburst will scare the Incidence into non-existence. 

Of course, the Incidence is what it is—most likely small and trivial.  It is not an emergency and initially will hurt no one.  It is usually one of those minor set-backs we all face daily, designed by who-knows-what­ to do nothing more than try our patience.  They are incidental, and unmemorable.  Once the Incidence has run its course, the madman almost forgets he ever had a reaction.

Reacting angrily at Life, for not cooperating with our wishes and dreams, is absurd, but not being able to recall our horrendous, over-blown retort is downright dangerous.  If a man can become hideously out of control at the tiniest thing, and not remember it, what happens when something serious happens?  Does he go into frenzy?  Or does he finally become conscious and handle the situation with calm?

And if it is possible for him to keep his head still when the challenges are at a peak, why does he regularly resort to Anger when the challenges are ordinary?

It is because he likes the sensation of Anger, likes the drama, likes the rush, likes the high volume, and likes the craziest annoyances.  Petty little annoyances that aren’t even worth seeing become his focal point—so that he can have his needed outburst, his needed release.   Because he is in such deep need for control that the Anger in his torso, head, vocal chords, chest, and stomach, feels like a weapon that he wields to over-power everything in his path.  As if Anger is some type of force with Godly overtones and abilities!

Oh, dear... look out.  For this is a person who is full of Fear and Denial—the tougher the act, the greater the fear—and he will never face his weaknesses, (not the ones that admit to the lack of control, anyway) and his authority will always be in question, as he is a man most likely loaded with Vices. 

Who the hell can trust a man to have self-control if he is full of Vices?  How do we know if he is conscious or unconscious?  How do we know if he can remember necessary things, can get his direction in order, or can clear his mind to accomplishments?  Can he do all he says he is going to do if he is full of Vices and Fears, punctuated with the crazy need to control everything around him?

Can this person be reasonable with others, and responsible to himself, when he sporadically fluctuates between sense and anger?  Is his addiction to drama so thrilling that he cannot let go of his Vices—and will always be out of control—which will drive him even madder?    

Then to put fuel on the fire, the madman is usually blind!  The amount of self-composure required to get him to open his eyes does not exist, for he constantly closes himself to the uncontrollable world with his Vices.
And in this closed world, once a madman, always a madman.

It is time to heal, Madman.  You’re not the only one with challenges.