DOUBLE STANDARDS, SIR

The man told her he would answer all her questions, so she began asking.

“What is it you want of people?” asked the woman.  She was hoping his reply was going to be I want them to be happy and honest.

But what he said was, “I want them to love me for myself—for who I am—as I am.  I want them to take the good with the bad, and not demand that I change.”

“What do you mean by the bad?” she asked.

“You know…my short-comings…like when I’m tired and feeling irritable.  This is who I am, and I want to be loved and accepted for it.”

“You want people to love and accept you when you are irritable?”  

“Well, yea…Irritability happens to all of us, now and then.”

"Would you say your Irritability is unpleasant?”

“Well…” he chuckled under his breath.  “I guess all irritability is rather unpleasant.”

“Would it be safe to say that when you are tired and irritable, you are also rude and scornful?”

He was momentarily pulled into himself, for her adjectives were harsh.  Barely regaining his composure he stammered, “Rude and scornful…I don’t know if I’m that bad.”

“If your ‘short-comings’ are unpleasant, is it possible they are rude?  When you are in the middle of your Irritability do you feel scornful?”

Again, he paused to intake what he perceived as a potential insult.  He had told her he would answer anything she asked, so he considered his response. 
Finally, he replied, “Well, sure…I guess I appear rude.  But it’s just meee.”

“So in other words, you want people to love and accept you while you are being rude to them?  Because, of course, it’s just you.”

“It’s nothing personal.  If they are truly my friends, they would know that my irritability is not serious, that it will blow over in time.”

“So while they give you love and acceptance, you give them rudeness and scorn?”

“It’s just me…It’s nothing personal!”

“Then let’s reverse it.  You be the loving, accepting one.  Your friends are going to be rude, and unpleasant—even scornful.  They are not going to show you love.  They are too tired and irritable.  How does it feel being loving and accepting when your friends are being rude to you?”

The man was silent.  After pondering, he answered, “It’s nothing personal!  No big deal!”

“Then from now on, you be the loving one who accepts, while all your friends treat you with rudeness and scorn.  Do you think you can stay friends with them?”

“You’re crazy!  What are you talking about?”    

 She smiled with as much understanding as she could gather.  “No, actually, I’m not crazy at all.  I’m loving and accepting—rarely scornful or rude.  It is you who treats your friends and loved ones with rudeness and scorn.  And yet you require them to be loving and accepting.  You live in double standards, sir; and you attack when you cannot convince.  Therefore, it is you who are crazy.”

His face was wrinkled and appalled.  He looked as if he was going to enter one of his “irritable” moments.  His facial muscles contracted, and his eyes narrowed while he tightened his lips.  His jaws were stiff, and he stared at her coldly.

She knew where he was headed, and had no intention of meeting his intense protrusions—his glare with her gaze.  It would be a stare contest, and she repelled the idea of competing with a man who adamantly defended Rude Behavior.  But before she walked away, she bowed her head with a slight smile.  No, she thought.  I will not love and accept your behavior; but I will forgive it.

Then she retreated from his coming scorn.